Do you know how to listen? And more importantly, what to listen to?
In the last two weeks, I’ve had two consecutive sessions at the Indian Institute of Management Ahmedabad teaching social entrepreneurs and leaders about the power of listening.
Despite that true listening is a life changing experience, so few of us have learned the importance of listening.
During the workshop, one person said, ‘we set up our company 10 years ago, everything is running smoothly, the only problem is finding the right people.’
‘Right people?’, I asked.
‘Right people means literate people.’
‘Literate people?’, I probed.
‘Literate people … hmm (deep pause).’
After much contemplation and scribbling his words on a sheet, our man says, ‘actually I need someone who can receive orders from the clients and despatch on time.’
‘Is that it?’, I asked.
‘Yes, that’s what it is.’
In many such interactions, the participants were left shocked with this feeling – how is it possible that I wasn’t able to articulate even when I knew what I needed.
Knowing is a tricky word. The one who knows the problem can also figure out a solution. It should be simple. But we surround ourselves with people who are so good at offering solutions, controlling the talk, interrupting us, and in some instances even completing the sentences for us. We never really realise how much we know because no one is listening.
We read books and we attend workshops on listening. We learn technique and skills on how to listen.
Listening is not a skill or a technique; listening is an orientation in life. Listening is how we choose to live and be.
Listening comes to us when we listen only for the sake of listening. Listening comes to us:
👉 when we suspend our agenda;
👉 give control to the other person;
👉 and treat others as equals.
That’s an ethic and it cannot be learned in a day, through a book, or in a 2-day course. It takes unlearning to learn how to listen.
So, make it a habit to listen without an agenda at least once in day. And then listen for just 5 minutes like your life depends on it.
Thank you Professor Vishal Gupta: embodiment of wisdom, calm, and Sewa (the joy in giving). We met just for 5 minutes last year and I am so indebted to you for your faith in me.
Here’s to a humble beginning to create a listening movement in this land of seekers.
